Quite an unusual, even repulsive for some, meditation or maybe more – contemplation.
I met a mention of it many years ago in the book Anthony de Mello „Awakening.”
Being impressed by this book and being not enough experienced with everyday life, I tasted what is new.
At a young age, this cognitive process was based on the principle: I eat first and then ask: What was it?
This approach to life was dictated by not only openness or the desire for adventure, also was a recklessness.
This is how it looks from the perspective of many years. Meditation, which I will tell you about here is not intended for the chosen ones, everyone can use it even if they are guided by unconscious recklessness.
Everything that helps to look at your own life from a different, rarely used perspective can bring something new in the process of expanding awareness and exposing stupidity – which I am an avid supporter.
If you have survived to this moment, it’s good because I have two stages to propose:
The first, short, substantial, after which you can stop reading and go to the practice of meditation.
The second stage is a report from the course of such meditation. „Comment” can be a bit confusing. Describing the course of meditation in words is like the comment of a football game. Keeping this comparison. I would like you to experience meditation as a player, not a commentator.
Therefore, do not succumb to words and do not imitate exactly what I describe. Go your way using this meditation tool.
The goal is to feel the truth, not the information about what it is. My comment only indicates my experience … I added some colors especially and I assure you that just describing it was a great meditation.
„… To live really, you must first die. (…) Imagine that you have died and you are lying dead. Now, look at your problems from this perspective (…).
That’s so much from Anthony, I mentioned about him in the introduction. Now, apart from a little peace, you do not need anything else, take a comfortable position and rely on your imagination. You are dead in the coffin, what are your problems?
If you are still here, then let’s go to the second stage. I realize that death is not a popular topic of social conversations, although it is part of our reality Death in our culture is celebrated even with greater momentum than Birth. However, we avoid the theme of „dying” but this is a completely different topic.
I’m lying in a coffin. I am allowed to see what I called „I”. Body is a pale, sunken, dead, dressed in something that resembles a suit. Black color. I am lying in a coffin in a room where I have stayed so often. It was here that I spent so much time, which I do not have anymore. TV, x-box, laptop, even a mobile phone. All these items are so familiar and have lost any meaning now. Cars, clothes, home and uncut grass in the garden.
Now even the body is the object, it has lost its meaning. His weight, appearance, hairstyle, teeth, ( I had a visit to the dentist) – it all seems to be funny but it is not. It’s all just totally useless, and where is smoking? Where erotic fantasies? Where’re dreams? Where is all thinking? Thoughts. There were so many of them, and each one more important than the other. Where is the rush? There is no place to hurry, there is no one to hurry.
I’m lying in a coffin. The body will collapse, it will rot. Transformation of the form – but all this has no meaning at all. And the people I was surrounded with? What about them? Everyone is here. All those who I met in this revealed life. Children, I did not have times for them because there was always something more important. Now the time is over. Wife. Always busy, she dealt with everything I did not even have a clue about. So many times I wanted to show how much I appreciate it … time died with me.
Parents, family, friends, all those I’ve estimated. „That’s good, this is not good.” All those whom I judged „He is doing wrong and she is unbearable.” Enemies and friends who listened to my complaints and „wisdom”, although they did not ask for it.
The end of all duties and responsibilities, there is no „I like, I do not like” anymore. There is no future because there is no time. I will not say – „thank you, excuse me, forgive me, I did not want to, I love you”. There is no one to say it. Identity lost its meaning. There is no Me, there is nothing that is mine, there is nothing that is for me. There is no what I called „I am”. There is nothing to defend, there is nothing to lose.
Now that there is no lust, no fear, no cold, no warmth, no smell, no touch, there is nothing that the mind can call and the body feel. All that remains is to see what the body and mind known as Pawel left behind.
Is it something valuable for people and the world, something that just disappears for „me”?
Now that I’m in the coffin, it does not matter „who I was”. These are only names, words. I appeared in the world as a human being. I did not choose a nationality, the color of my skin, religion, I did not choose the place and time. All these labels: wise, stupid, rich, poor, right, wrong – they all were like stickers on the forehead. It does not matter what I did. I adapted to the conditions of the environment in which I found myself.
The important thing was HOW I did all this. For all my actions have influenced others and the whole world. How did I treat this body, what did I feed it? How did I treat this mind, what did I feed him? How did I treat loved ones, friends and strangers? What did I give them?
Everything that was supposed to be mine and for me ceased to exist. I knew that the end was inevitable and I was still focusing mainly on what was supposed to be mine. So many human beings contributed to what I had and I wanted.
Now I’m indeterminate, unnamed. Here and now comes the question:
Will I have a chance to try again?
That is why it is worth waking up, thanking you for being there and doing everything you should do. The new life begins with the opening of the eyes and the awareness of what is.
Thanks for your attention, please let me know what you think about it and until next time.