Note 5. Do not blame your ego.

Do not blame your ego for your failures. You create your own ego yourself. This is your reflection in the mirror and shadow on the wall.

In other words, when you look in the mirror, be ready to face the truth. Do not run away to the excuses, take responsibility on yourself. And do not blame your opinion about yourself. I will explain it briefly.

An example from personal experience. Pretty fresh. As part of the English language practice, in addition to writing, I try to record podcasts. Recording a podcast in Polish is a lot of fun but in the case of English, it is time-consuming.

First of all, I translate a previously written article from Polish into English. During the translation, I encounter a lot of new words. That means I must to learn pronunciation, and it does not come easily. By the way, I would like to mention that just understanding the meaning of words in a foreign language will not make me pronounce them correctly.

Therefore when I’m recording by reading a text, not every word sounds correct, which compels me to re-record, again, and again. Yes, it is a good method to master the pronunciation of words, but when recording a 15-minute podcast takes you an hour or even longer (not counting basic sound processing) I’m beginning to doubt if recording makes sense.

Well, this doubt is about „ability”. I’m beginning to doubt my own abilities. In addition, there is the idea of oneself, in other words, the ego. Low self-esteem of understanding and accepting knowledge, „I can not do it”, „I will never do it”, „I will never use this language freely”. Speaking to oneself in this way is not constructive.

When my opinion about myself sounds more or less like this: „I am ambitious, hard-working, capable, I am good at what I do” and with this ego I will encounter difficulties, (which I wrote earlier about mistakes when speaking English), EGO wanting to avoid failure will start to avoid situations in which it is exposed to failure.

That’s what happened to me when recording a podcast in the English (not the first and not the last time). I put off every opportunity to work on the recording for later, and I always found some serious reason that justified it. „Because I think I’m smart, I will not show my world stupidity.”

 It is stupidity to think that all that is good is doing by my „I” and all that is evil is my ego. In this case, the „I” and the „ego” it’s one and the same.

Of course, there is a solution. When you are aware of your own ego, aware that it is created, it is enough if you change the way of thinking about this reflection in the mirror.

For example:

-I am neither stupid nor smart. I make progress and make mistakes, and every moment and every thought  „I will not give up” after the fall builds my perseverance.

This is what motivational quotes in social media are used for. That’s one of the reasons we use them.

When you notice these destructive thoughts like „I can not do it”. Ask yourself, „Who says that?”, „Who asking ?” This is someone previously made up by you or the environment, and there is no point in looking for a guilty one, it is better to find in yourself someone who responsibly takes action again.

These are superficial treatments but enough to record the next episode of the podcast.

Greetings

Paweł Kosinski

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